In one way, I didn’t need one, as I’d be in Mandalay in two
days where there is the best ever shampoo and head massage. I didn’t need one
in another way also: my lank locks looked thick, indeed bouffant, from the dust
that covered everything. But I wanted one. I wandered around the main streets
but couldn’t find a salon anywhere. Then I turned into a side lane and there a
sign said ‘Shampoo’. I hazarded a guess it would not say that if it were a
barber’s shop for men. ‘Tis true there were many men sitting around aimlessly chatting,
but this is what men do.
I mimed washing not cutting and a most obliging man sped off
to find the female hairdresser. I thought. But no, he returned with a black,
rubber car-tyre bucket of cold water. Mmm I thought I’m glad the day is warm.
Through much gesticulation from Ko Hair Wash and the hum of a stray man
intoning Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy (as I’d been obliged to say where I was from and Ozzy
means one is not mistaken for an Austrian) Ko Hair Wash guided me to a wooden
chair beside a stained, stainless steel sink. As I bent my head I noticed the
sink was filthy. So I closed my eyes. Ko HW pushed my head forward and tucked a
dark green towel around my neck. Then came half the bucket of cold water tipped
over my head and shoulders. But as the water poured into the sink, there was no
plug or indeed no drainpipe so the water cooled my hands, knees and calves.
Next was normal hairdressing procedure: he lathered my head
in soapy bubbles. Then along came the other half of the car-tyre bucket of
water. Satisfied he’d removed all the soap (and hopefully the grime) he threw
the dark green towel over my head and face. But he’d been using the towel to
sop up some of the wayward water on the floor. So as the towel landed on my
head, my face got a dousing too. I got up and walked haltingly as you do with a
wet dark green towel over your head. I fumbled my way to a chair beside a
mirror. And here was a complete surprise: a hairdryer. It was electric. And
there was electricity. I snuggled down in the wooden chair shut my eyes and Ko
HW combed gently as my hair dried to the continuous flow of words from the three
men still clustered around. Ko HW finished combing. Cautiously I opened my eyes.
In the mirror I hardly recognized myself. The wrinkles were still there as
testament to my 71 years. But I had the neat parting and the smoothed down hair
of a primary school boy. Not what I expected. But hey you need the unexpected to
keep you on your toes and hilarious happenings don’t often happen.
